DATELINE: BUSINESS WRITING HUMOR
When we noted that Tom Brady had posted his resume online from his pre-Patriots’ days, we had to return to our Business Writing professorial teaching days.
We must say that Tom (or his proxy) certainly put together a great resume. We never judge credentials—only the format, structure, and style. Considering his degree is in the always vague General Studies, we think he almost seems literate.
First, we commend Tom on avoiding that ridiculous career objective line. We always steered our students away from making such top of the resume pronouncements. Can you imagine what Tom’s claim would be?
OBJECTIVE: To be the best QB in the NFL for over a decade in the 21st century.
That kind of objective line would have sent Bill Belichick into regales of laughter in 1999.
We also think Tom should have included a line at the end of the resume that noted “References Will Be Furnished Upon Request.” Of course, we realize that with those jobs he listed, there were likely few people who’d go out on a limb to give him a reference letter.
We also commend Tom’s use of action verbs used consistently on his lists. This would be the bugaboo of a resume from someone like Tim Tebow. He’d mix his action verbs with his split infinitives and present participles. We also like those bullet passes.
We also commend Tom for not shying away from those summer jobs that most people want to forget about while they were college. Brady apparently never worked for McDonalds or sold sporting goods at Dick’s.
As far as name-dropping is concerned, we must say that we are impressed to find Merrill Lynch featured as well as the Ann Arbor Summer Festival, but Tom never mentioned his trip to Disneyland that changed the course of his life.
We would have given him an A- for our Business Writing course.