The Next Boston Celtics Banner is Hanging at the Ready

 DATELINE: HUMOR

 surf city

                                           Kevin Garnett’s Empty Home

Go, Northeast, young men.

Horace Greeley had it backwards. Horace Greedy wants all the money he can get.

LeBron James (about to have another turnabout turncoat summer) and Carmelo Anthony (of the rolling contract like a stone) could be looking for new homes.

Did anyone tell them that Kevin Garnett’s home on Golden Pond, a stone’s throw from Walden Pond is on the market?

Did anyone tell them that Kevin Love may be here? and that the only player to give Carmelo wet dreams is Rondo the corner?

We speak of that great metropolis where Leonardo di Caprio and Jack Nicholson have made movies. We speak of the Hub of the Universe—and no, it does not mean you have to play on Mars.

Boston has a plethora of money and draft picks to spread around the NBA. So, what keeps Lebron, Love, and Carmelo, from making Boston their new hometown?

With Rondo having nightly orgasms passing his balls around, the Celtics would surely have another banner tout suite.

Already the naysayers have said nay.

How many fingers can LeBron hold up to count Boston banners for NBA championships? Does he have as many fingers as Bill Russell?

Oh, Paul Pierce is thinking about another year or two, and he too has not yet sold his palatial Boston digs. There are enough bedrooms and bathrooms to let the James and Anthony families share the accommodations.

And, Paul could live there too as a landlord who is no longer absent.

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