Funny Stuff Detected for a Price

 Dumb Americaprimordialsoup

We always knew the U.S. government had no sense of humor, and now it is confirmed.

Just in case you think we are funny, we are providing a link to the serious articles on this stuff.

Your tax dollars will buy sarcasm-detecting software to help the Secret Service and Homeland Security find out if you really mean it when you say you own a drone.

How much a humor detector will cost may prohibit everyday citizens keeping one on their laptop. The price of joking has skyrocketed since Guantanamo opened the stand-up comic section.

Making someone laugh may now become the purview of only the rich among us. We have known for a long time that Ph.D.s have no funny bone.

Humor is a tricky art at best, and now we discover the people who can put you in jail have discovered they have no sense of humor. Thank heavens for that.

Sarcasm is the last refuge of scoundrels and humorists. So, there is no way of knowing if the Secret Service will be able to tell folly, irony, and whimsy, from the usual gamut of funny one-liners.

Perhaps we can cite this as progress in an age when humor about movies and sports can get you thrown out of a game and shunned by Netflix.

Political humor is the worst offender, mainly because your loyal opposition laughs as you are carted away in cuffs.

Of course, all this expense will limit humor-detection to the Internet. You may still be able to win a smile, cause a chuckle, simply by working street-corners with jokes.

Laughing Cavalier

Hals’ Laughing Cavalier

Secret Service wants a meter to detect how funny you are being in that tweet. It will be similar to the old applause meter your grandmother saw on Queen for a Day. If they aren’t laughing, you will be read your Miranda Rights.

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