Red Sox at White House: Not an April Fool’s Joke

DATELINE: HUMOR!

 OBAMA & ORTIZOH, BOY: Obama & Ortiz

No, President Obama did not send Vice President Joe Biden to meet with the Red Sox while offering his regrets as part of his April Fool’s Day shenanigans. The Chicago White Sox fan could not resist throwing a barb the way of the wrongfully colored Sox.

Thanks to Jonny Gomes, the Sox were truly the right color: red, white and blue. Gomes gifted the entire team with American flag blazers. And, there was enough material left over for an extra jacket for the Commander-in-Chief.

It was the kind of day you might expect the President of the United States to be playful after a week of Russian border incursions and Malaysian missing jet planes, not to mention talk about the Yellowstone caldera blowing up.

The Red Sox for their part did not have an international crisis keeping all the players in line for the meeting. These are not your Boston Bruins. For the most part the players are actually voting Americans, not Canadians who may not recognize Mr. Obama.

Aruban Xavier Bogaerts is not a citizen, but still managed to make it past the White House security. Cuban refugee Jose Iglesias has been thrown to the dogs in Detroit—and was a no-show.

We half expected Shane Victorino to ask about Obamacare after being put on the Disabled List yesterday.

Manager John Farrell has his Dudley Do-Right impersonation down pat and kept the loose cannons in line.

Alas, Jacoby Ellsbury and Jared Saltalamacchia were unable to don the right uniform and make the connecting flight for an honor they deserved too.

David Ortiz shook the hand of the President after spitting into his palm. The leader of the free world looked like a man who never met mucus in his campaigns.

Smarmy Ben Cherington was there, as was Lucky Larry Lucchino and King John Henry VIII. All you needed were the Skipper and Gilligan—and the Good Ship Lollipop could sail into the choppy waters of the Potomac.

 

Be sure to read RED SOX 2013: NAKED CAME THE LINEUP to relive your favorite moments with a satiric touch of humor. The work is the only book to catalogue all the shenanigans leading up to the World Series on a month by month basis. Hilarious and favorite memories will live forever. Available on Amazon.com.

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