David Ortiz Emulates the Robber Barons

 DATELINE: HUMOR!

With the Red Sox season of 2013 in the history books, and players already moving on to new teams, the big hero of the World Series has decided to re-start his version of the life of Robin Hood.

David Ortiz plans to hold up the Sox for another year’s contract. He still has a full year left on his bitter negotiation from a year ago, but now has decided the Red Sox billionaires who own the team can afford to pay poor Papi a bit more.

Beadle Cherington has met his Oliver Twist.

Yes, Ortiz sees himself as the man most deserving of more money. And, why not? He just watched Jacoby Ellsbury run off with the Steinbrenner family silverware.

Of course, by the time a new contract with the Red Sox finishes out, Papi will still be younger than Robinson Cano, Albert Pujols, and Alex Rodriguez, when their legal robberies are done.

If you want to hold up King John Henry VIII, you may as well do it when your popularity is peaking. Papi can do no wrong in Boston, apparently. Whether he drops an F-bomb on your kids, or breaks up his own happy home, the public can’t get enough of the naturalized American citizen.

Somewhere in those civics lessons to get his American citizen papers, Papi read up on the great rogues of America: we don’t mean Billy the Kid or Jesse James. We speak of the Robber Barons.

For a man with a weak Achilles heel, he is taking risks to gain a fortune. Who could blame him? His career could end in spring training this March when his brittle bones start to crack and to dissolve. Sort of like Mike Napoli’s hips.

 

 To relive the happy days of 2013, you should read RED SOX 2013: NAKED CAME THE LINEUP.  It’s available in softcover and ebook formats from Amazon.com.

 

 

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s