Spitter Up for Clay Buchholz?

DATELINE: HUMOR!

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As the World Series is about to commence, the Red Sox have found a fly in their ointment.

Yes, the buzz is that Clay Buchholz is off his mattress again.

The unicorn of the Sox Glass Menagerie seems to have re-broken his horn. As you may recall, Clay hurt his shoulder by falling asleep the wrong way earlier this year. It resulted in three months on the disabled list.

Now after a semi-triumphant return to the starting rotation, he seems to be on the “Do Not Touch” list again. Another mysterious injury may keep Buchholz off the grass during this Series.

No one wants to put a curse on the happy days and string of feel good moments for the Sox, but if the dirty job falls to anyone, we are ready to take up pillow talk.

Clay apparently still sleeps without memory foam. His shoulder may be acting up like an exploding bottle of sparkling water dumped on his stringy locks. The air bubbles have given him the bends.

No one will go on record to state that Clay is not sleeping right, but what else could make his fast ball take a dip into watery cheese fondu territory? The mouse may take the cheese, but Dennis Eckersley will tell you the cheese takes the game.

With both Jarrod Saltalamacchia having more fluids on their heads than a spitball requires, both Clay and Jarrod have been adding a lemon spritzer to the repertoire of Buchholz’s pitch count all season.

Now with the national spotlight on them, the integrity of the game may be bringing the impressive statistics of Buchholz back down from the lemon/limelight.

The feats of Clay may not include a successful World Series start.

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