New England Patriots looked great everywhere on Sunday: Wes Welker was catching touchdowns. Brian Hoyer and Matt Cassel were the best back up quarterbacks you could ask for, and even diminutive Danny Woodhead was on the ball.
Unfortunately, all these Patriots have moved on to other teams, leaving the official bunch looking like they were scrambling for their lives.
Tom Brady used to pass the ball with the best of them. Now his former acolytes look like Tom Brady—proving he taught them well. Alas, poor Tom Brady, we knew him, Horatio.
You know the worm has turned when Bill Belichick is more animated than we have seen in years—and looks worried too. He was scrambling all over the sidelines like he had just learned the steps to the St. Vitus Dance.
We learned something on the science television network today: Mars used to have water. And, the Patriots used to have a passing game.
We noticed that the Atlanta Falcons have a great tight end by the name of Tony Gonzalez, and the Patriots don’t have any tight ends whose names we can pronounce or spell.
Yet, the Patriots manage to be the worst-looking undefeated team in the NFL. It may never cease to amaze how Bill Belichick finds replacements for his fallen and missing stars. Vince Wilfork was the latest departure with a titanic injury—the equivalent loss of Brady on defense. Yet, someone was there to step into the big shoes, whether his name is Kelly or Vellano or Emperor Chandler Jones.
The Iceman did not cometh. Mattie Ryan looks like he failed to read Eugene O’Neill’a famous play when he was at Boston College. It’s always a mistake that sends Mattie Ice into a long day’s journey into night.
It means we will now crown LaGarrette Blount as the new Emperor Jones and leave the Hairy Ape to the media that predicted Patriotic Doom.