ELFEGO BACA ALFREDO ACEVES
Like the proverbial bad penny, the badass Alfredo Aceves has turned up in the starting rotation again. Not since the New Mexican lawman of legend and Disney fame named Elfego Baca has there been a cat with more lives.
The Red Sox are nothing if not persistent. They won’t give up on a player until the lynch mob storms Gate D. There will always be a contingent of supporters of the most heinous of all types. Heaven knows, there are fan club social media followers for one of the Marathon bombers.
So, Aceves surely deserves much more support than that lowlife. His biggest crime is being a bonehead. If he wins the Memorial Day game, he will enjoy a herald not seen since Josh Beckett treated the team to fried chicken.
If John Lackey can reform his character and rebuild his body, then Alfredo can conjure up a second act in his Boston career.
Old Western hero Elfego Baca could take on a lineup of tough cowpokes and live to become a lifetime sheriff and civil servant who managed to fire up his own myth. Maybe Aceves can inspire a Walt Disney movie.
If Alfredo Aceves can mow down a tough lineup and live to start again, he could become a new Mexican legend.
Elfego could hold off an army of bad guys all by himself for thirty hours. We simply want Alfredo to hold off a barrage of hitters for three hours.
In lieu of sleepyhead Clay Buchholz, we have called in the reserves, led by Aceves, who must stay awake and stave off his own demotion back to Pawtucket.
Be sure to read William Russo’s two season coverage of the Red Sox in RED SOX 2011: A WHIMSICAL AUTOPSY and the followup RED SOX 2012: BOBBY VALENTINE’S SEASON IN HELL. Both can be found on Amazon.com in softcover or e-book format.